Worst Habits

I have so many bad habits holy damn…

My worst would be the anorexia more than anything.

But i have never wasted food – that’s not my style.
A Recovering Survivor 

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30 Quick Facts

  1. Taken
  2. Last kiss was Sunday
  3. 3 girl best friends
  4. 3 guy best friends
  5. My favourite song at the moment would be Mrs Potato Head by Melanie Martinez
  6. My height is 163cm
  7. My weight is 45kg
  8. My first kiss was in Year 3 (8 years old) but that’s a whole story on its own
  9. I don’t play  sports – I run and exercise but yeah nah
  10. This whole blog is secrets
  11. I only have my ears pierces but I want my belly button and nose done… oh and my helix
  12. Longest relationship is my current one and it’s been 18 months
  13. No favourite ex’s
  14. Caucasian
  15. I tell everything to my partner
  16. I have cheated once and I regret it but the guy was abusive as fuck and I was like 15 so shut your fucking face
  17. To be mentally healthy
  18. Having a pillow fight and picking up a blow up mattress and using it as a weapon in the fight
  19. Beach
  20. I don’t think I’m pretty
  21. Been bullied
  22. I don’t have Instagram
  23. Favourite drink is coffee – white chocolate mocha with almond milk
  24. My favourite colour is teal
  25. I’ve been suspended for drinking at a party while on school exchange
  26. My most hated teacher was my Year 4 teacher and she hated me jsut as much
  27. I want one girl if I was to have kids and her name would be Effy Aleyna
  28. I have a dog and a cat
  29. Favourite celebrity would be either Alyson Hannigon or Neil Patrick Harris
  30. The last book I read was Burn in the Rephiam series  – highly recommend btw.

A Recovering Survivor 

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Fears: Fat

My biggest biggest fear in life is getting fat. I’m not even sure what the definition is of being fat but I know I do not want it. I currently weigh 45kg.. which is like bordering for me but I hit 50 and had a fucking panic attack. Being fat is my biggest fear and pretty much one of the only things I’m genuinely afraid of.

 

Something else I’m pretty terrified of would be being raped again. That scares me so mcuh but it’s coupled with being abused again and the whole situation behind that.

I worry about other things which could be a fear…? The main one being that of failure. I am afraid I will fail life; I won’t recover, I won’t  live my dreams, and I’ll fail.

 

That’s really all my fears.

A Recovering Survivor

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Views on Religion

Oh wow… So much opinions here its insane.

So firstly, I am what you would describe as a humanist. this basically means that I believe in the will of the people, and that people’s aim in life is to better society. That’s pretty much it. I used to be an atheist but it didn’t quite hit the nail on the head for me personally.

I actually believe religions are problematic. There is no good in religion and have managed to cause the majority of the wars in history ever. People all think their religion is better and will kill people over that fact. Without religion we wouldn’t have terrorism, Trump, Hitler etc. So without religion we would live in a better world.

Say that though, people need hope. And religion provides people with hope. I suppose my main issue however, with religion is that people give the credit to a god. So they do something right and a god gets the credit, but when bad shit happens – he’s never to blame? I think religion has a lot of double standards and I personally have a problem with that.

Now i could literally talk forever about religion and why I personally could never be religious – mainly following how I have been through immense crap and have seen such horrid things that I just cannot accept that there is a loving god. Even if there is a god he is far from loving and gives 0 shits about anyone or anything.

A Recovering Survivor 

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Drugs and Alcohol Opinion

This one is quite interesting for the 30 Day challenge because I used to be addicted to both. So it’s like what’s my opinion of them? I think that they’re okay in moderation, like everything else in life. I avoid them though mostly because I know it could create an undesirable lust. Addictions are hard to fight and to get rid of, and the longer that you keep the addiction going the harder they are to fight.

I personally don’t care though if other people drink and do drugs – unless they are friends with me and I’m concerned about their wellbeing. I also don’t care about weed because it’s so harmless. IN fact I think everyone should do weed at least once. I think that as long as you know your own limits you shouldn’t have to answer to others’ opinions.

A Recovering Survivor 

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10 Year Plan

My plan for 10 years is to go and get my Bachelor and Masters in Architecture, to live in the US or even Toronto for 6 months – even maybe more. I want to have finished an internship and have a stable architecture based job. I hope to have started a PhD in psychology part time as well, specializing in either the human condition or personality disorders (or even both). I also want to look at getting my masters in Business so that I will own my own architectural firm some day.

I also hope to have a daughter – Effy, and be married for roughly a year 🙂

A Recovering Survivor 

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Current Relationship

Day 2 of the 30 day challenge I am currently undertaking requires the explanation of how my current relationship is going. So I will follow up by saying, extremely good despite me once again fucking everything up and pushing him away. I try so hard not to but it is so distinctive within myself that there is barely any room for change.

Image result for relationship

I am so happy with him and being with him makes me very content but then my own mental health, and likewise his own, often get in the way. Thankfully we can get around it – we always do – it just sometimes makes life harder, and I suppose more interesting in a way.

A Recovering Survivor 

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