5 Year Old Anorexic

So we often see, and comment on how girls younger and younger develop eating disorders. I have watched a documentary in the past about Dana the 8 year old anorexic and it resonated.

How can a child so young wake up one morning and decide not to eat? To exercise rigorously?

Still, I am the answer to these questions. I was a child and I was undeniably young. It was through this that no one noticed. I was so young that it became normal for me to not be hungry, to be interested in working out, to eat the bare minimal and everyone accepted that. It wasn’t until I was 16 that someone even noticed and by then it’s already far too late.

Recent blood works have discovered that I don’t need iron to function. I starved myself so much of my life that my body will get sick if there is too much iron – why? because I trained it that way. I can not eat for a week and be perfectly fine.

I found myself contemplating the other day how it is I never ended up in hospital for an eating disorder – especially when I got to 30kg. a 16 year old shouldn’t be able to function at 30kgs. It’s abnormal and still no one knew. No one knew – no heart attacks, no seizures. I watched a short film which said “those who start [starving] thin are a disease, and those who start fat are a success story”. So what about those who lived their whole life as an anorexic? What about me? I have no idea who I am without the voice in my head. I keep wondering. Am I the rule or the exception?

The thing about eating disorders is that you keep going until you die. Why? Because you keep telling yourself if it was bad you’d already be dead. 30kgs

I  know stories of anorexics who get to 37kg have a heart attack and are treated. I know stories of anorexics who lost 10kg in 2 months and were rushed to hospital for urgent feeding. I know stories of anorexics who didn’t eat for 7 days and had to go to rehab.

I guess that means I won the anorexic game. I never got caught. I started so young that my body liked the hunger. I got to 30kgs and I wasn’t treated. I lost 10kg in 1 month and was complimented at school for my determination. I can eat for 21 days and still live.

So what makes a 5 year old girl decide to stop eating one day? For me… I was alone at 5. I had no friends at school and the people in my class called me fat. Fat little piggy. I stopped eating lunch after a boy named Ryan told me if I wanted to grow up pretty lunch wasn’t the answer.

I would give the other children my lunch – I never wasted it. That wasn’t my style. I cried at night when my parents where trying this new diet here and there and would make  me go on it too so that I wouldn’t have problems with my weight.

I stopped eating breakfast when I said there just wasn’t enough time to eat before mum took me to school. I said I was tired and I would always fall asleep. Yet no one thought that a 5 year old would be starving. No one thought to check my habits and then it was too late.

SO how does a 5 year old become an anorexic? You let her become anorexia.

There is no longer separation between myself and anorexia. We are one. We are the same.

Be careful what you say to children, you have no idea how they’ll take it.

A Recovering Survivor

Advertisements

About Recovering Surviver

Hi, I am a Recovering Survivor and I'm not the only one...
This entry was posted in Confessions, End The Stigma, The More You Know, The Stories and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to 5 Year Old Anorexic

  1. gold says:

    Good day I am so thrilled I found your blog, I really found you by accident, while I was searching on Google for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say cheers for a remarkable post and a all round thrilling blog (I also love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the minute but I have saved it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the superb work.|

    Like

  2. dept of edu says:

    You actually make it seem so easy along with your presentation but I find this topic to be really something that I feel I’d by no means understand. It sort of feels too complicated and very extensive for me. I am taking a look ahead for your subsequent post, I’ll try to get the cling of it!

    Like

  3. Hello! I’ve been following your website for some time now
    andd finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Lubbock Tx!
    Just wanted tto mention keep up the excelent work!

    Like

  4. employment says:

    I do not even know how I ended up here, however I thought this submit was once great. I don’t know who you’re however definitely you are going to a well-known blogger should you aren’t already. Cheers!

    Like

  5. whoah this blog is magnificent i love reading your articles. Keep up the good work! You already know, a lot of individuals are hunting around for this info, you can help them greatly.

    Like

  6. Hi there, I enjoy reading all of your post. I wanted to write a little comment to support you.

    Like

  7. It’s remarkable to pay a quick visit this web page and reading the views of all colleagues concerning this piece of writing, while I am also zealous of getting knowledge.

    Like

  8. dept of edu says:

    May I simply just say what a comfort to discover a person that actually understands what they are talking about on the web. You actually understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important. More people have to read this and understand this side of the story. It’s surprising you’re not more popular since you most certainly possess the gift.

    Like

  9. Annett says:

    I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to do
    it for you? Plz answer back as I’m looking to create
    my own blog and would like to find out where u got this from.
    thanks

    Like

    • Recovering Surviver says:

      I did it through wordpress (obviously) so I chose all the themes and colours I felt appropriate for the blog and what I wanted to convey my message through. Worpress is my personal favourite as opposed to Blogger and Wix etc.

      Like

  10. Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all folks you actually understand what you are
    speaking approximately! Bookmarked. Kindly additionally seek advice from my website =).
    We may have a link change agreement between us

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s