One part of my therapy includes seeing a sex therapist who specifically helps me with what happened in the assault and all of that. Last time I saw her, we spoke about the realities of sexual assault and I wanted to share with you (now that I am in a place that I can). I would like to say that it could cause a form of trigger and yeah.
Sexual assault can happen to anyone
It doesn’t matter what you look like, which country you were born in, how old you are, what religion, where you live, your job. Nothing you do will ever change it. My boyfriend is always telling me how he wanted it so took it and I guess that it’s true and if you get past it. I, for the most part, know in my heart that I did nothing wrong. I do have moments where it’s like “the fuck is wrong with me?”.
Nobody ‘asks’ to be raped
Women who act friendly, drink alcohol, accept car rides, walk the streets at night, dress comfortably are not consenting to sex. Women have a right to live without the fear of being sexually assaulted. I’m pretty sure if you ask for sex then it’s consent so not rape? I mean i could be wrong but yeah.
Women and children very rarely lie about sexual assault
Those who work with women and children survivors of sexual assault report that its very rare for anyone to lie about it. 98% of cases are found to be true.
Sexual assault and incest are harmful to women and children
The effects can be: physical, psychological, social, developmental, intellectual and spiritual. They can be long term and devastating for the victim.
Most perpetrators are ‘ordinary’ men from all socio-economic classes, professions and nationalities
Perpetrators are rarely psychologically disturbed, ‘abnormal’ or ‘crazy’. Perps most often have the option to choose sex within a standard relationship, but choose rape because it is motivated by feelings of power and control.
Men can control their sexual urges
Men do not have uncontrollable sexual urges. In fact, men can stop themselves at any stage during intercourse. No sexual urge ever gives a man the right to rape a woman or child.
80% of perpetrators are known to the victim.
They are frequently members of the family: a partner, ex-partner, husband, brother, father, uncle, grandfather or ‘friend”.
A Recovering Survivor