I have liked this Facebook page called “The RED HEART Campaign – Giving female violence survivors a voice” which is fabulous and actually posted my story for me and had an overwhelming amount of positive comments about it. I love this page, and I saw this quote and I loved it.
It’s so true though. I didn’t know what love was when I met my ex. I had no clue. I still didn’t know when I met Dean – thankfully he showed me the truth (so grateful!). Thinking about this quote though… I knew what love wasn’t. It wasn’t hate or insults or rape. Love isn’t that.
I actually still don’t even know what sex is… I used to think it was love which is fucked up. and I mean there’s still a small grain inside my head that thinks that. If I’m being honest, I think I owe sex. I think and feel as though if you date someone you should have to fuck them. Pleasure them. Make them feel and prove you love them. How can you be in a relationship without intimacy? I don’t feel as though Dean is adequate about that. Because I can’t have sex – it’s just too hard. And it hurts me which I feel as though hurts him. I just think that it’s so unfair on him. How come people don’t ever give support to partners who help out their spouse in and through this? Because he is the toughest guy I know and I don’t deserve that. Sex is so complicated. It’s like… I don’t know why it has to be…
A Recovering Survivor