“We accept the love we think we deserve”

This quote is from the novel Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. In the book, which is also a movie staring Emma Watson, Charlie asks his English teacher why nice people date the wrong kind of people. Which is prompted from the fact that his sister is in an abusive relationship.

But the quote itself I think speaks truths so much so in the book so much so in life. When looking over my own life and my own experiences I can’t help but feel that because I never loved myself, I ultimately ended up in an abusive relationship. My parents don’t love me and I didn’t know how to love myself, how to love others and like most people, I have to learn. It is actually extremely common for a child who was emotionally abused and neglected by their parents to either become an abuser themselves or form relationships with abusive spouses. It is also a contributing factor to why I was bullied in school for so long.

That is why the quote is so fascinating… It’s like any kind of self-image contributed by external factors impacts on how you let others love you in return. People are so complicated like that. I mean, if you can learn to love yourself, it actually decreases the chances of other people stepping all over you. It’s important to remember.

I have come a long way. I still see myself sometimes as fat as a whale, but at least I’m getting food into my mouth. I actually do have some pretty good days now. And I don’t entirely hate photos of me NOW. Still hate the ones from like years ago cause I look gross AF. But I think I’m starting to love myself. It’s slow. Really slow and sometimes I hate myself and get angry at myself. But allowing myself to be loved by an amazing guy. Who loves me and cares for me and who just is amazing. and I love him. He’s so great. That’s why I can start loving myself, because I finally have someone who is showing me how.

A Recovering Survivor 

Advertisements

About Recovering Surviver

Hi, I am a Recovering Survivor and I'm not the only one...
This entry was posted in The More You Know and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to “We accept the love we think we deserve”

  1. Fidelia says:

    Admiring the persistence you put into your website and
    in depth information you offer. It’s nice to come across a blog
    every once in a while that isn’t the same outdated rehashed material.
    Wonderful read! I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my Google account.

    Like

  2. I’ve been exploring for a bit for any high-quality articles
    or weblog posts on this sort of space . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this web site.
    Studying this information So i am satisfied to show that
    I’ve a very just right uncanny feeling I came upon exactly what
    I needed. I most no doubt will make certain to do not forget this site and provides it a glance regularly. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGjFw_mGfqEGb9cRxfX-K9ckzMl5uUgIc

    Like

  3. Alda says:

    Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very well written article.
    I’ll make sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post.
    I’ll certainly return.

    Like

  4. Jeanna says:

    Hi there! This is kind of off topic but I need some help from an established blog.
    Is it hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty
    quick. I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure
    where to start. Do you have any points or suggestions?

    Appreciate it

    Like

  5. Smithf661 says:

    Hello my family member! I want to say that this article is amazing, great written and come with almost all significant infos. Id like to peer extra posts like this . bfadfbdgdfefcedb

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s